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28 MAY 26 || Running my first 5K 08:20

I’ve achieved something I didn’t think I could do on May 2nd, 2026. Running a 5k! There was absolutely no preparation done, as much as I wanted to, and when I finally made it, I felt an uncontrollable emptiness among the 200+ women in one spot. I went solo, as much as I didn’t want to. I believed it was going to be something I would achieve on my own, yet when I saw girls coming up in pairs, groups, boyfriends, and parents with their kids, I was reminded of where I stand in my life. That emptiness was so strong and painful, I almost went home instead of facing the fear.I’m so thankful I took the stride and ran. No, I wasn’t there to break a PR or get giggly with my friends. The reason was more rooted in my personal growth- I wanted to feel happiness. The runner's high after 2.5 miles really showed that to me, the realization that yes, this is fucking hard, yes, you almost threw up not even a mile in- the point is you grinded your teeth in the urge to want something better. Or maybe it was just for the medal! Even then, the mere grit of showing up to the event alone and achieving something you didn’t believe you could do at all this morning is a new chapter in my book.My life won’t change a significant amount after this huge feat, but maybe I’ll begin to realize that obstacles are actually the way, and Ryan Holiday's book, “The Obstacle Is the Way,” isn’t just spewing some capitalist propaganda to make us struggle. Moving the rock may be the most difficult feat in my minuscule life stage, it may feel like it can ruin it for its entirety- but it won’t. We have this feeling that the bad things that come our way are something that will change our entire worldview. Yet your morals will continue to drift you back to equilibrium. You’ll go back to your solid habits, eat a little better, and realize it really is just your life that you can control.If you’re missing guidance in your life, maybe sign up for a community event, volunteer, or run a 5k and live off the runner's high. That guidance will push you back to your morals- or force you to redefine that line and realize life might just be worth living.I went to the place with my water and a broken heart, and I left with a medal and a new sense of belonging to myself…. still a broken heart.Maybe now I can start building myself back up, with the reminder that this is just a small boulder on flat land, not a massive mountain to tackle.

ARCHIVED POSTS

19 MAY 26 || Art of Good Enough 01:19

The thought often passes through my mind: “Am I good enough?”. Variables across different situations often trace back to a lack of self awareness in a small phase of time. If you place an action, or deep dive in its meaning towards you, maybe you’ll begin a stronger search about why you are here.Life is short, days pass by, then months, and now you’re old. Fortunately, I myself have not reached being “old”. Yet, time passes by quicker than I can build up the forces again to fight off what I have been dwelling on. A repetitive cycle. Self aware enough to know the weight of my words, actions, and decisions- though choosing comfort due to fear, pain, change, and the mere weight of the world.After every fault, mistake, loss, or problem I’ve had, the same question comes around as Mother Nature brings seasons, “Am I good enough?” I revel in the thought, acknowledging my negative and reminding myself that’s the first step in solving any uphill battle.As the moon has phases, she becomes whole again even if it’s temporary. We cannot fall apart in the question, but figure out where the roots begin, and curate our solar system to fight off what will eventually reset our phase in life.We may not be “good enough” to others. At this phase in life where a lot is placed in our hands and devices consume our brains, acknowledge that good enough isn’t something to size yourself as a whole. Find your phase & break it down. Know that the energy you place in yourself in 24 hours is good enough. If that threshold rises or lowers in the next 24 hours… then that’s good enough too.

15 MAR 26 || Consistency & Passion Poem

Good morning :) I've realized I want to make writing part of my personality more than what I have been giving her, and to do that, I'll be posting monthly (at the minimum). Thankful I began this project!Passion
I have learned;
a passion is an uncontrollable emotion.Though,
I cannot fathom a passion for I myself,
I am not passionate.I believe in values,
values make up who I am,
not a mere passion.Passions are uncontrollable,
though values are importance.I do not seek a passion,
I seek to build importance.
from where I come from,
an animal infested garden, that’s labeled as a basement.
Where I planted roots that cannot be pulled.
Roots where I built my values and stand for today.I am not a mere passion,
but a strong person with values.

5 FEB 26 || Past, Present, Future 01:01

It’s easy to get stuck in the past, hard to feel any real progress in the present, and the future can seem so far away that we avoid looking at it altogether.Recently, I got a new job, and I’ve been trying to create a new persona—someone upbeat, someone fit for the front desk. Every time I clock in, it’s like I flip a switch in my head. I become a little happier than what my life feels like on the other side of the balance.Work also requires a family and the attention you can give your own friends outside of it. You see these people almost 40 hours a week, and that is where you create bonds. Though it's different, conversations spur around you (especially in the hotel industry), you don't have to find a conversation to bring up. Only when you actually get to know someone, maybe after work, catch a conversation, that's where you truly meet someone.The past doesn't define your current self; you built that up from what you surround yourself with. At the moment, I have my home. I work hard to keep my head above water, my brand new car that I ensure to continue to make it to where I want to go every day, the affirmations on my mirrors to remind myself how I can continue progressing every day, and constant hygiene to keep myself fresh for the everyday adventures I give myself.Though very basic, consistency is what matters. I choose to show up for myself, and my future is what I build today.
I can change what I want to do every day and decide on something better. Such as;
Walks 10 to 30 minutes
Stretching for 10 to 30 minutes
Journaling 10 to 30 minutesWhat I prioritize today gives realignment of my future later.My future self will hold more power than I could ever imagine. Consistency and showing up go hand-in-hand with curating a better version of yourself. Sadly, there is no outside force that could motivate you other than yourself. That's the decision you make every day when you wake up. Deciding on what you want your future will look like is truly up to you.So far, the future me is thankful for the mundane tasks that keep us looking forward.

16 Nov 25 || Socialization 15:45

Merry Christmas! Halloween season is finally over and the galore of being outside is absolutely gone.
Yesterday I went out for halloween! Dressed up as Kim Possible from the hit Disney series, and started the night with my sister. Zooming around the capital city, stopping by the gas stations to grab a little drink, a little flicks, and many laughs. Then hit a rendezvous to a coworkers home to visit their small get together and new house.Social circles are something I’m still curating around me. Work-Life balance has been very uneven. Since getting my new place in June, and a new job in September, socializing hasn’t been on the top of my mind. Now, settling into the fall season (aka seasonal depression), I needed to switch gears and focus on something else in my life. Working on yourself does not mean alone, which I’ve only realized a week ago.
Talking to people actually makes life less depressing and how we prevent mindset shifts to the negative. Isn’t that so easy!
Not at all. Socializing for me personally is a steep uphill battle. To a frequent codeswitcher growing up and catering to the needs of others was my go-to… What do you mean I don’t have to do that for friends?Authenticity is difficult at times; when you want to show someone your true colors as well, it adds more weight to the words you say. Chronic overthinking is on that table too which increases the chance of the fight to not go in my favor. Humans are meant to communicate to each other, but unlearning unhealthy communication you grew up around and unpacking ALLAT changes the playing field a lot. I avoid my problems. To have a healthy relationship, we cannot poke around the bush when it’s about your feelings… WE SHOULDN’T. Problems will arise in any situation, containing and normalizing a bad gut emotion or feeling can cause ripples in how we interact with one another on a day to day basis. Though difficult, those conversations cause the surge in your brain that it’s okay to be uncomfortable with your feelings with another human. It’s hard, yes absolutely. Doing hard things is necessary to unlearn bad habits that force you to close away and cut people off.In the big 2025, we should normalize conversations that make us upset, because you almost always get out of it in a different light, our mindset changes, thought patterns, relationships, it’s a work in progress. Perfectionism ruins this mindset, but trying again builds it up again. We can strive to be perfect, but it cannot wreck the progress we are constantly making every day.No matter what your day entails, we grow from what we consume, good or bad.

10 Oct 25 || Why Am I a Writer? 15:45

My two favourite W words; why and writer. “Why are you a writer?” I always dream of answering the question with a clear answer. But words always lack, and the only answer I can stew up is, “why not”. But the answer I’ve always wanted to tell is, “It labels things my tongue can never bring up the courage to say or pronounce”.Writing is quite simple, all you need is; a subject, the verb, and the complement. You have a sentence that can bring emotions from any sort of angle into light. An assumption of the greater meaning of a single sentence.But being able to write and striving to be a ‘writer’ are different. A writer who writes, out of the pleasure of putting words on a paper, they choose to spend time out of their day just to pour their energy and effort in hopes to get as good as their author they look up towards. I am confident, I am a writer. I constantly find myself looking at life as a book, something I can write about in refined detail, to either fit the reality I want or something to look back on as I continuously grow. As I mature in both my writing and my persona as a person, I review the question that always comes back as prickly as a thorne, “Am I a writer”? I question myself as if I am something, rather than actually being it. I laugh at myself for feeling so down I can’t realise the achievements i’ve made through pressing my fingertips on buttons labelled with letters.Hitting the nail on the head; I’m a writer because I want to be able to achieve the answer to myself. Digging deep into my head with questions I ask myself, pushing myself to advocate for a better meaning to a problem I see, expanding my vocabulary so one day I can speak as fluidly as the words that press onto my paper. I write because it makes me into a better person. I put all the words I struggle to say out loud, into animation. It gives life to what I’m always scared to say.Answering the question, “why am I writer’ shouldn’t be a long essay of how much hardships that you undertook just to be here. Being a writer is simple, if you enjoy putting your effort, time, and energy and constantly strive to become better, you are a writer. You don’t need an excuse to hold pride in something you love to do.

25 Sep 25 || Carving Out a Path 05:55 AM

What are you gonna do without a path in life?This question has been daunting for me the past couple of months. I just graduated from high school and the path straight to college wasn’t the option for me, but what is?Options are everywhere, to secondary education with licenses and youtube university, or maybe playing music as a passion and forcing a career out of something that is true to you. It almost feels like if you decide on one, your life for the rest of the days are set in stone (it's not). But when the question is asked from maybe a colleague, or a next boss during an interview…. What are you going to say?What if it changes after tomorrow? Will you confront them about how you lied about it?
Though it wasn’t a lie, your mind was set in stone at the right moment, and in truth; that idea that you once had was squished down because the funds you have wasn’t available to make it right. It wasn’t a lie, but now you feel like you're running around in circles again trying to find that path that’s right for you… as you're jumbling your fulltime job, self care, and every routine that you believe you need… but why aren't the routines enough for the soul?Having a path in life isn’t necessary, but there is a yearning that everyone has to try something new and escape the never ending routine. It’s the small projects that continue to keep the brain afloat.Long term isn’t the only path you have to look at in life. The temporary holds, or mini projects with your friends, even journaling everyday for the month of January can be a path you take.Since if you write what you do everyday, and read back on it once in a while; you’ll realize a lot sooner that the path you are on currently is going at a slow speed. It exists, though the progress is hard to see when you look at it short term.
Just think about it in investing terms. If I were to invest into the S&P 500 in 2019, 2020, & 2021 when the pandemic brought all the stocks extremely low, you could feel like you lost on the “prime” investing time; but if you kept your cards in play while never giving it up to sell, your investments would be double, maybe even triple by 2025.
Those investments that you made towards your money, increase over time… Those small projects that you tackle every month or yearly, increase your intelligence, mobility, and observations over time.You don’t need a path right now, just something that interests you at this moment. No moment in time is wasted if it’s something you are even just slightly interested in.Each individual human is different. There is no need to follow someone else’s small project, it’s all about what’s in front of you.Just like poker, sometimes you just need the right cards to call out the right plays. Maybe not today or tomorrow but until you get there; just follow your daily routine. Make that bed everyday and appreciate your clean space. Show up everyday and realise that paths carve themselves. You can’t force an ocean to move, but slowly push the sand to carve where you want it to go, and you’ll figure it out as time goes.

OTHER HOBBIES

╰┈➤ˎˊ Reading ✦📖 (Get into the discord and join the book club whenever!)╰┈➤ˎˊ Learning Constantly- Knowledge is Power.╰┈➤ˎˊ Traveling || Something I've finally began, and very excited to share about it!╰┈➤ˎˊ Journaling Instead of doomscrolling ( ¬ᴗ¬)╰┈➤ˎˊ Music has always been through my journey, beginning on Cello, Clarinet, & Guitar ♪╰┈➤ˎˊ Streaming and sharing my talent for losing (•̀ᴗ•́ )و AresodaTV
╰┈➤ˎˊ My Discord !! It's all about having a community you can rely on, game, and read together. Find connections, relations, and someone to have fun with.

ABOUT SODA

Authentic, personal written stories of my life that continue to give me
a backbone to my own digital footprint.
(more to be spoken about soda soon)